The story of Kat and the Lowes Guy

This blog is really about my journey of therapy, and healing from child sexual abuse. But I’m not just a girl who goes to therapy, or is working things out with Hubby. I’m a mom, too. My daughter, Kat, is amazing. She’s 4. Just a few months before her third birthday, she was diagnosed with autism. We’ve had to fight to get insurance coverage, and then to get the services and providers we wanted for our child. It’s been messy, but also amazing. In a year, Kat has grown and changed so much. She’s learned so much, and so have I. But she’s still Kat, that essential, amazing, inner strength that she was born with is still present. She is a child who knows her own mind. She knows what she likes, and what she doesn’t. She’s also not afraid to use her voice, for herself or for others. I thought it might be nice to share a Kat story every once in awhile. And so, without further ado, I give you the story of Kat and the Lowes guy.

It’s a Saturday, after Kat’s session with Bea, and we decide to go out to lunch. She wants Panera, because she loves their soup. Never mind that it is August, and 90 degrees out. She wants chicken noodle soup.

“Honey, it’s very hot out. Maybe you would like a sandwich?” I’m trying to convince her that it’s too hot for soup.

“Mom. It’s hot out, so I eat hot soup. Then my insides and outsides can be the same hotness,” Kat explains. She’s serious. And well, who am I to argue with that perfect logic?

She orders soup. I order salad. And after we eat, I want to run to Lowes to buy panel board. The amazing thing about white panel board is that it’s cheap, and huge, and it works just like white board. So, for $20, you can have a giant white board cut to size. This is good news for any OCD moms out there. Even better if you have an autistic child and are in need of schedule boards, calendars, and who knows what else. My house is covered in white boards. It’s insane.

At Lowes, I can’t find anyone to help us. Kat and I load up the floppy, too heavy panel board ourselves. It’s falling off the cart, and I have to stop every few feet to put it back. Kat is struggling because the lights in the store hurt her ears. We pass two different people wearing Lowes uniforms, but they both refuse to help.

“Jerks.” Kat shakes her head. She’s mad.

We get to the cutting counter, and the panel board is cracked at the bottom. The guy doing the cutting starts to yell– and by yell, I really mean just lecture, talk not so kindly, be a little rough– at me because of this. I can’t take it anymore. I start to cry.

And that’s when it happens. Kat places her hands on her hips, walks over to the guy so she’s in his face. She stomps her little four year old foot, and shakes her finger in his face. “Stop being mean. You are making my mom cry. Just do your job. You don’t need to be an asshole!” She turns on heel tosses her head, and walks back to me. “I told him, Mom. He’ll be nice, now.”

Yeah. That’s my kid. She’s so strong, so sure of herself, that even at four, she will march up to an adult who is wrong and let them know all about it. I only pray she keeps this strength forever, that no one takes it from her.


14 thoughts on “The story of Kat and the Lowes Guy

  1. You’ve mentioned Kat before and I never realised she was 4!!!! You must have said it but I never registered it, she sounds much older than that! She sounds amazing. Like her mother, she’s a credit to you x


    • She is just 4. 🙂 Her language patterns are very mature, like a mini adult. Kat didn’t really learn to use language until she was 2, and even then it was just to copy the words I said to her. It wasn’t until she was 3 that she really learned to use the massive vocabulary she had stored in her head to communicate. I’m really proud of her…..and constantly amazed at the conversations we have. There was a time I wondered if I’d ever have a “real” conversation with my daughter.

      And thank you, I can’t take all the credit, but I try. 🙂 xx


  2. I love stories about our children, whether it’s the one residing in us, or our own. Your story shocked, (the rude asshole) and amazed me. (Kat)
    It is quite an honor to watch how a child will grow when nurtured, loved and protected appropriately. They flourish, with all the instincts they are born with intact which mature and strengthen over time.
    So funny, as Lowe’s was notorious for their sales people going out of their way not to help.


    • If I may, I’d like to add that for a very long time, too dam long, others rudeness also reduced me to tears very easily. And I would chastise myself for what felt like a weakness which I now see was strength, because somehow I kept going.

      Childhood trauma ripped me apart. Any further wounding was unbearable, tearing me more, including rudeness by others I didn’t even know.

      People with skin that hasn’t been torched, like Kat, bless her!, instinctually and immediately brush rudeness away with, ‘you jerk.’ I couldn’t do it. I have been too raw inside. But over time, for me I think too long, a natural barrier to others stupid, selfish, insensitive insults has grown within as I began to accept all of me.
      Not sure if that makes sense.


      • This makes perfect sense. And I hope that one day, I don’t fall apart so easily. I guess until then, I’ll have Kat to call people names for me. Lol Seriously, though, this gives me hope, because it got better for you. Thank you. xx


      • Oh yes. Funny about that little trooper of yours, your comments make me laugh. It gets better, and my guess for you is that won’t take so long. In the meantime though, boy, others ‘nasties’ sure hurt.

        I was told once I needed a ‘shit’ shield. Or that I had one but it was turned the wrong way, with the concave side facing out so that I absorbed other people’s ‘shit’. It needs to bounce off, not soak in. But those were just words until the miracle of solidity occurred.


    • Kat amazes me constantly. It always is amazing to me, the difference in my relationship with my daughter and the relationship I had (have) with my mom. With Kat, we trust each other, and she does feel safe. 🙂


      • I think the smiley changes like that because I am on an iPad, so the iPad changes it when I make one with typing automatically. 🙂 xx

        And yes, I feel like I have broken, or am breaking the cycle. I thankful I have had people in my life that have helped me to do this, to know that things had to be different with my child.

        Liked by 1 person

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