Earlier this week, I wrote in an email to Bea, “I want to stay home, have a nice quiet simple meal with Ryan and Claire. Be thankful with them, for the relationship the three of us have. That’s what I really want to do right now.”
I said it was impossible, not something I could do, because I had to go to my parent’s. Knowing I was planning to call off sick for the Christmas party made it even more important that I go to Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, after my therapy session, I came home, and packed up my little car. Kat and I headed out. The closer I got to my parents, the more anxious I became.
As we neared the halfway point, my heart was beating way too fast, I was having trouble breathing, I kept having to remind myself where I was, I was afraid every car that passed us was full of people who were going to hurt us; I was a mess. I was sure I was going to have to text Bea and beg her to call me to talk me down, help me ground myself, because I could not do it.
Then, my check engine light started to flash. And my car started to shake. I reacted horribly, as if it were a life or death situation. I called hubby in a panic.
“Get off the highway, Alice. I will come get you, and have Chevy roadside assistance come get the car.” Hubby spoke to me in that direct, Alice is gone and acting like a loon again voice.
I got off the highway. Chevy towed my car to the dealership, and hubby came and got Kat and I.
I stayed home for Thanksgiving. I cooked a simple dinner; homemade chicken pot pie from scratch, and home made apple crisp (because we has our mini thanksgiving meal on Monday night). We had a nice, relaxing day, where no one was fake, even thought that meant some of my mad leaked out and Kat got whiny and Hubby withdrew and went into neat freak mode. We were thankful with and for eachother. We snuggled after dinner, and were grateful to be together. It has been the most perfect Thanksgiving ever.
(Minus the texts and guilt my mother has induced in me….but that’s another post, another day!)
I’m so thankful to have this group of wonderful people in “blog-land”, and for all my readers! Happy Thanksgiving!!! π
I relate to that mixture of guilt and foreboding before a FOO meal. Kind of wanting to be there, but really not. So car trouble seems like a blessing. Glad it worked out for you.
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Thank you. Holidays can be so hard! π
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Things like this happen and it certainly makes you wonder about things ‘meaning to be.’ Personally if I’d have been there there id have created an ‘accidental divert.’ Screw the guilt and everything else – you had a lovely time with the people that matter most. I’m liking your car π
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Yeah…..I kind of had this “meant to be” feeling, too. I love my car, lol. π
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I think that your car needs to still be in the repair shop next weekend!
I’m really glad that you had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving with your most important family. π
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Hi “Cat” π Thank you, I’m glad I got my happy day, too. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
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Happy thanksgiving Alice. ..
Take it easy
I know what you mean by the parent thing iv indured it yearly because I can’t return home due to my anxiety!
Sending love hugs lis
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Thank you. It’s so sad that there are people who,understand, but, I’m so glad not to be alone. I’m trying to take it easy today. xx
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Oh I love it!!! We had the same kind of Thanksgiving. Just our little family of 3 and 4. I even wrapped myself up in a blanket. And to think our mothers survived without us….wonders may never cease.
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I don’t know if mine survived. I’m meeting with Bea tomorrow because of all the crazy awful texts mine has sent. At least thanksgiving was perfect! Moms.
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I just deleted my mom’s vm’s like my psych told me to do. It was difficult but really bypassed the drama! I can listen to advice at times! I’m glad I had to work today as I needed distraction from my panic.
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