Our ABA team has grown in the last month. We’ve added a new tech– Mira– and our BCBA, Callie, has taken a position overseeing all the BCBAs in the company and so we have added a new BCBA, as well. His name is Jamie. And that is where the problems start. Kat has a crush on Jamie. But….let me start at the beginning.

It was Thursday afternoon, and Jamie had been out for his weekly visit. Kat, and her first ABA tech– who also happens to be our nanny, Amy– were eating lunch. Jamie and I had just finished up a quick meeting, and he had left. I went to join Kat and Amy.

Everything was great, until Kat realized Jamie had left without saying goodbye. That’s when the massive meltdown started. She has a thing about telling everyone goodbye when they leave the house– she even tells repair men goodbye, and to drive safe. But this meltdown rivaled the meltdowns she used to have before ABA, back when her communication skills were nonexistent. I was instantly transported back to that time, rambling off things we could do to make it better, begging her to calm down. I could see Amy was remembering those days, too.

Kat finally agreed that talking to Jamie and saying goodbye on the phone would be good enough. I sent a quick text letting him know what was up, and he called instantly. And that is when it happened. Kat answered the phone, and my 4 year old turned 13.

She batted her eyelashes, and twirled her hair. She giggled and turned shy. She got a sing song quality to her voice. She was flirting. At first I was stunned. I couldn’t process it. But Kat calmed down, and our day continued. I was grateful.

It was 8:30pm when it hit me. She has a crush on him. She’s 4 years old, and she has a crush. And since then, well, my head has been an even bigger mess of twisty thoughts and fears and awful bad feelings.

Kat has a crush. And I feel like I’ve been crushed by a 1000 pound sledge hammer.


2 thoughts on “Crushed

  1. Are you reading more into it? While seeing Raymond my younger son around Kat’s age or a little older, brought home a scrap of paper with sexual pictures on it, body parts, words. Raymond said don’t say anything to him, that’s it nothing, and he almost seemed amused.
    I get super worried over any of that kind of stuff. I trusted Raymond enough not to make a bid deal of it. I didn’t fare so well other times when similar things arose. I’m very sensitized to the entire subject, sometimes more than I need to be. So with a four year old, it sounds the same, all innocent, adorable really.


    • I could be…that’s the thing. It really is probably this very cute thing, but because of my past, and my history with the crush I had when I was a child…..well…yeah. I totally freak out over these things.

      Thank you…for sharing this, for making me not be the only mom in the world who has been over sensitive to something because of their past. Xx


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