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Feeling sad

So….I emailed Bea on Friday night. I was feeling a little scattered and off when I emailed. And I haven’t heard back from her. The grown up part is feeling okay, although there is a slight disappointment that things had gone so well the last two weeks and now this. The teen is mad. She can’t believe that Bea wouldn’t email her back.  The little girl is freaking out; she believes that Bea is gone and mad and doesn’t care. I’m sad and lonely and worried. I don’t understand. And I’m worried she is disgusted with me and never wants to see me again. I don’t know. 

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5 thoughts on “Feeling sad

  1. All of you has the right to the feelings that you have. I just want to reassure you, though, that her not emailing doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care or that you aren’t important or that she is disgusted or any other abandoning thing. She has shown you over and over that she is there for the long haul. My guess is that something came up in her life that kept her busy.

    I’ve had the same experience with my therapist. And for me it’s especially disappointing/ frustrating/ worrying when it comes right after a period of more intense contact/ support when she would interrupt her life in order to answer my calls/ texts because she knew that I needed the immediate support. For her own well being, she can’t do that long term, so she normally responds during down times in her day. If it’s an especially busy day (like if she has house guests), sometimes she forgets for a day or two.

    But Bea and MB seem like they are a lot alike and I know that MB cares intensely and that isn’t going to change, even if she is human and forgets to get back to me now and then.

    I have to say that I am so very glad that you are feeling a bit more steady than you were last Tuesday! That sounds like it was just horrid.

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      • I’m glad that it helped!!!

        It’s really hard being an adult with these hurt child vulnerabilities. You are doing an amazing job of working with them so you can eventually get to the point where they don’t hit you over the head with their intensity.

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  2. Hi Little Alice, I know it feels very scary to not hear back from Bea as regularly as you usually do. You’re probably wondering if she forget or is gone – she is not gone at all! She will write you back, or, you can email her and let her know you really need a response. Do you remember when you were upset a month or two ago when you didn’t hear back, and she apologized and said that if you don’t hear from her, it is okay to email again and ask for a reply? I know Bea would want to know if you’re really worrying – she doesn’t want you to worry.
    -your friend Little Rachel (and big Rachel)

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