I have some questions for you all. I would appreciate it if you would help me out by answering. You can answer in the comments or email me at email@example.com
1. Does it upset you when your therapist labels reactions or feelings as transference or as an enactment? Why?
2. Do you have a positive, negative or neutral feeling towards the concept transference/enactment? Why?
3. If you have been read my blog, you most likely know that whenever transference, enactments, or other “shrinky” terms are used to label my behavior or feelings, I get very defensive and shut down. I refuse to consider the idea and become very triggered. Does anyone feel like this, or have you ever felt this way? Do you know why? If you no longer feel this way, what changed?
I’m trying to understand a few things about myself. This last week, I have been able to see clearly that the great rupture of spring and summer 2018 were an enactment, and that my reactions were about mom stuff. I can see it clearly, and I could (and may in a later post) list it all out, but I can’t talk about it or face it. It all feels very negative and bad to me. I know that in order to deal with the stuff the teen part needs to deal with, this mom transference/enactment stuff has to be sorted first. And yet, I can’t do it. I’ve read and read about these things, but there is nothing I can find to explain why transference feels bad to me. Yes, there are plenty of writings about how painful and difficult it is to be experiencing the feelings of transference or to be in the middle of an enactment, but there is nothing out there to explain why the very idea of transference triggers me. I thought that maybe someone here may understand this.