This page is a list of messages Bea has written to (or about) the little girl part. So many of these things are ideas I don’t fully believe, but I do trust that Bea means each and every word. She has consistently been there for the little girl, and has shown compassion and understanding and care. I wanted a place where all these sentiments she has shown are together, so I can easily find them, and the grow up part can read them to the little girl when she is feeling sad, or lonely, or scared.
👑The little girl needs to know that she will always be seen and her needs taken into account. If she is scared I will try to figure out how to help her feel safe.
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👑If she wants to talk, she will be listened to. If she doesn’t want to talk she will have power in that way too.
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👑She will not be “fired.” She is not expected to be good or nice. Maybe she’s encouraged to be a little bit brave, but that’s about it.
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👑My job right now is to keep trying to inch us forward in building resources, but I know that must be at the pace of the little girl. She is the most vulnerable part.
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👑She can also tell what memories might be coming up, etc. She won’t be silenced! She is finding her voice, and it is definitely okay for her to express her thoughts and feelings. Experiencing that as okay will be a big step for her!
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👑Your worth is not based on being good or nice. Your worth is based on just being you! Authentic, real expressions of feelings are much more valuable than covering up things that are only going to surface in another way anyways.
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👑It’s okay for you to be mad at me. I won’t be destroyed and I won’t go away even if you are really really mad. It’s my job to contain all the mad–and the other feelings–so you feel safe to express them.
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👑I’m sure that is hard! We have to work with her, though, because she is the most scared and vulnerable player in all of this, and her needs are very important.
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👑The grown up part often struggles for compassion for the little girl part. I won’t have that same struggle. I want to know what she’s thinking and feeling.
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👑I’m sure it’s very scary–you had to be very brave. I’m still here, though.
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👑Yes, we need to pay more attention to your feelings–and to the stories and things that come up. It should be an “and” with the new stuff, not a taking away.
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👑What a great idea! Yes, I can be sure to tell you that we will come back to it, that of course I want to listen and hear what you are saying.
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👑I’m so glad you shared your thoughts and feelings! I did want to listen. You were very brave.
Falling down the rabbit hole 